Celebrating the Ordinary: A Holiday to Remember....

Ummm wow...

This was quite the Christmas season.

I am not really even sure how to sum it up.

My honey turned "50"

We went to Carmel twice.

Nicholas flew in...

flew out...to Mexico

flew in...

Flew out...to college.

Went to San Francisco more times than I can count. Sometimes for just a loaf of Tartine's bread.

Celebrated our last Christmas as our little family....probably. Well for sure, but it is just really hard for me to see that in writing.

And then to end the season with a big fat how do you do bang, Charlie got really sick.

It is a hideous sickness that starts out with a fever and then you develop cold sores in and around the mouth. He hasn't got off the couch for 5 days...5 days. That means I am suffering from an acute case of cabin fever. The poor little guy won't eat and I have trouble getting him to drink. The little fellow has no reserve for this type of thing. He is weighing around 40 lbs sopping wet before this even happened. He has already missed the first week of school so I am hoping to send him next week but he looks so awful that that might be a stretch. Like look at him and want to be really sick yourself awful. Day at a time people. Day at a time.

So the holidays were memorable, joyful, sad, wonderful, confusing, exciting and a million other emotions that I almost can't identify with words.

We laughed and talked and I cried and laughed some more. Nicholas when he is home brings such a tangible energy that you can't help but get sucked up into it all the craziness.

It's the best kind of crazy but my house goes from a normal busy household of 5, to a nuclear level of about 5000. My house practically pulses with an invisible force.

He was leaving December 26th at 6:00 AM from San Francisco so Tom and he were going to have to be out the door close to 4:00 because Nicholas in order to deal with life has to have all his ducks in a row. So Christmas night we just played games...well one game "ticket to ride" which I borderline hated and so did Benjamin until he came in second to last place and now he wants to play it daily. I came in dead last and I still hate it. Ella Tom and Nicholas love it so much that they can't stop talking about the love they have for that frustratingly awful game. But the point was I was sick knowing that that day was ending and so I just sat there willing it not to end. I was falling asleep mid sentence and yet I would NOT go to bed. Because the second I went to bed it was all in the past. So we were all going to try never going to bed and the topic of conversations were seriously funny. But finally around 2:00 everyone was out cold and we went to bed, and just like every other day, that has ever happened, it ended and Christmas 2015 was over. It is really hard to live as dramatic as I do all the freaking time. It ended subtly with me wandering down the dark hall and climbing into bed, falling fast asleep but drifting off holding onto something that was like a rainbow in the sky.

It was never going to last.

So I have to learn to cherish the memory.

It happened and I had my four babies around me laughing and loving with Christmas lights, candles glowing and a cackling fire in the fireplace. and it has to be good enough.

And it was...it was good enough to last a lifetime.

So where to start...

K I will start with the first trip to Carmel right when Nicholas got home. Only because it's a very good place to start. Oh my gosh I love that sometimes I quote "Sound of Music" without even meaning to. I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that while on this trip I sang every word of every song in the the highest and loudest voice known to man during the "Sound of Music" sing along on tv. Now I always sing to it quietly under my breath, trying not to either scare or tick off my family members watching it with me. But somehow having the words flash on the screen gave me FULL permission to just scream it out. That's why the words are there right? So I sang to my hearts content and I felt happiness deep in my soul. Also Ella sang loud which added to my happiness level because can you believe that I got one? I am sooo blessed.

Holy cow it just does not take much to get me off track does it.

Now I am too tired to finish this and I am going to hit publish and whatever I can finish in the next 2 minutes is going to have to be it. Since all I do is sit with Charlie in the living room in front of the fire and poor 2 teaspoons of water down his throat like a baby bird. So I should have some time to post again real soon because I am not done by a long shot. I have so much to say...I mean my husband turned 50!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!