The Almost Worst...

So if last year at the cabin was so aptly named "The Year of  Constant Rain"

then this year's cabin name is

"Poor Benjamin" or

"The year that Benjamin Couldn't do Anything" or

"The Worst Cabin Experience in 16 years for Benjamin."

Ok I think you get the idea... 

Benjamin had an accident on our second day and he couldn't do anything for the rest of the week. To say it was hard would be a gross understatement.  You try to keep a 17 year old in the cabin, with his eyes closed, resting, while there is a boat, ATV's, jet skis, a never ending forest and a huge lake outside his window was horrific.  

I know... it was the worst. 

And yet not the worst...an absolute blessing.

Because the real worst is anything that didn't up with him just being mad and bored.  

Ben had an ATV accident.

He somehow fell off the ATV. 

Passed out twice that he can remember, flagged some people down to help him try and figure out how to get back to the cabin because he couldn't remember, got to me and proceeded to throw up violently for the next 15 minutes while I tried to figure out which Emergency room to get him too.  

Some mother's are calm when they are worried and they calmly do what needs to get done.

I am embarrassed to admit I am not that mother.  Something breaks in me and I can't think straight.  I actually loose all feeling in my arms and I have trouble breathing.  

It is absolute fear.

I loose the ability to say to myself, "everything will be ok."

Because to love these humans so much, to know that my happiness depends on them, that fear in me keeps all rational thought in the back of my brain. The only thing I know for sure is that I can't live if something happens to my five people.

To love something and have it hurting is unbearable, and truthfully at that moment in time, I didn't know if Benjamin was going to be ok.  What if he hit his head hard enough to cause bleeding?  He had every symptom of that to be a possibility.

I have heard the stories and please God don't let anything happen to my Ben.

We gathered our little family in the car, prayed, and drove 90 MPH for an hour and a half to Rexburg Idaho with Benjamin moaning and throwing up the entire ride. Rexburg was the closest ER going in the direction of Salt Lake City, the biggest city that if the unthinkable needed to happen, we could get there easier.  

My angel sister Tiffany called the ER and told them that her nephew was coming from Hebgen Lake with a head injury from an ATV.

They told her they would be waiting at the entrance and have everything ready to go.  The ER doc needed to know,

Was he wearing a helmet?

She got to answer yes.

It saved his life.

So much happened when we got there but the only thing in the end that matters is we got the CAT scan results and he was clear.  No blood on his brain.  That was all I needed to hear.

The Er doc was amazing and has been studying head injuries for years.  It is his own personal passion.  Such a blessing.  He was such a blessing.

We learned so much from his wealth of knowledge and we know that a severe concussion can have ramifications that can last for a very long time.  

I can deal with that.

He was ok...thank God he was ok.

I still cry thinking of those moments, the absolute fear, and how different the outcome could have been.

What happened on that ATV?   

Benjamin still can't remember.

We still don't know. 

But he was wearing his helmet and it saved his life.

So we spent the week trying to keep our active, grumpy boy calm and resting.

We let him fish and he fished a lot.

We played yahtzee.

We watched movies and ate ice cream.

We watched storms blow in.

We let him take the fishing boat out with me and the kids which was probably dumb.

But we saw a bald eagle and we chased him.

We laughed,

 and inside I was just so happy...just so very happy.

Our first full day before the accident, which was Sunday, we spent the day on ATV's watching a buffalo.  Well Benjamin chased the buffalo while I yelled from 155 yards away telling him to not get too close.

The kids skied and we skipped rocks.

We almost had a weeks worth of fun on that day.

Almost...but not quite.

We tried to make sure to have fun with our healthy two but I felt a little guilty.  We did our best.

Chasing the bald eagle...

 The hilarious mountain man thingy.

I don't know what it is except they sell crazy things out of road kill animals and I guess other animals.  We laughed out of confusion for quite some time.

I am just so happy...