I said goodbye to Nicholas in the parking lot of a Thai food restaurant...again.
We were leaving to spend the week end in Carmel and he was leaving the next morning for Idaho to go back to college.
I was crying looking out the window missing him already.
We hung out a lot when he was home because the other kiddos were in school.
So we would head up in the hills and go for our hikes each day.
I was thinking about how fun it is to spend time together and how much I enjoy talking to him.
He is wise and smart and is such a great listener. I just talk and talk and he patiently listens to my sometimes never ending stories.
He offers such insight and great perspective and he is sooooo funny.
Those lines between parent child that were so cut and dry for so many years,
were suddenly blurry.
John, hearing me sniffling in the backseat, asked if I was OK and I told him that it was just hard to say goodbye to one of my best friends.
So that is what happens.
You raise these people and it's hard and sometimes never ending.
Days last forever but the years are flying by.
And then you are done.
And I realized that night,
looking out that car window,
with tears streaming down my face, that one of my biggest life wishes came true...
my son is my best friend.