Tuesday, March 29, 2011

In a blink of an eye

Second star on the right, straight on til' morning
Peter Pan

My Sister in law, Ann gave me a sign with these words and they have been hanging in my boys room as a reminder for the last ten years. A reminder that one of my wishes as a mother was never going to come true.

Little boys grow up.

They were not going to bring me worms from their pockets or give me dandelions for flowers. They were not going to swing from branches upside down or throw rocks way too close to cars. Hours and hours spent outside hollering and yelling would shift indoors to watching some crummy TV show.
The years of endless little league baseball games would all come to an end. I loved seeing that proud look in their eye and tiny relieved smile as they start their mad dash to first base.
I knew those dirty little bodies snuggling on my lap begging for another story would transfer to being curled up into their own corner of their room reading by themselves.

I used to ache inside thinking of them growing older. How to hold onto the precious days, like sand in my hands, consumed my thoughts. I knew that time was a gift with them and it would be over in a blink of an eye. I would call my sister Angelin (She hated seeing her kids grow up as much as I did) crying to try and figure out how to slow everything down. It was something I wrestled with everyday.

And then it sorta just stopped.

I don't know when it did, but it did. I am not saying that I don't dread it anymore because I do but I don't cry and fret like I used to. It probably is because I still have my littles that occupy so much of my energy and time. Nicholas was almost 13 when Charlie was born so I got another precious little boy to give me dandelions. (Which he does everyday.) I also think that I am sincerely enjoying this time with my boys growing up too.

Teenagers are hysterical.

I mean they are really funny and their lives are wildly entertaining. One of the reasons is because suddenly I get them. I know they don't think I was ever their age and I am creepily ancient but I remember being a teen. I remember the driving, the friends and the dates. This all seems oddly familiar and I enjoy watching them plow through it. Of course there are things I really don't like and watching them fumble around is hard. I sometimes want to take control of their life so they don't make stupid mistakes but that is just it... I can't. They have to learn from their own mistakes. But in the process they are growing into these amazing people. People I am so proud and honored to know. It takes my mind off of the ticking clock and into seriously enjoying their company.

One of those teen milestones happened to my boy last Saturday night....Junior Prom. I loved almost every part of preparing for that night. I have to say almost because it cost me serious money for my teen's memory. I also did not enjoy the fact that he thought 4:00 was a completely reasonable curfew. We agreed on 2:30 but that was not without hours of debate.

I did however
love being there when he asked her. I loved seeing how sweet and darling his date was. I loved going to pick up his date with him. I loved chauffeuring them both to the pre- party. Most of all I just loved being there whenever he'd let me because just like everything else it was over ....in a blink of an eye.

So funny... so that night my honey was off playing with his brother and friends. I was home flipping through the channels and the ultimate 80's prom movie comes on... "Pretty in Pink." I just found myself sitting there smiling. It brought back so many great memories. How can it be that now my own son was having those same milestones?

Even though time continues to pass, I am grateful that I will always be a mother.

1 comment:

Dan Doxey said...

Honestly, you should write a book! You're so great with words and photos. You're the best ever!

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